Why did he scratch your car?

Today presents a question for all the ex-girlfriends out there:

Why did he scratch your car?

This question is undoubtedly asked by all the best friends of the ex’s who are chewing gum while they ask, so it sounds like “Why did he *squeesh* scratch your *squeesh* car?”

At at the time of this writing the question is unanswered on WikiAnswers, so I’ll go right ahead and answer it from the best of my knowledge:

He scratched your car, b*tch, because you did it to him first. When you found out he cheated on you with your sister. But girl, it wasn’t the Ferrari that cheated on you, ok? Next time, scratch him, not his precious.

Where in a human body is the soul located?

Mmmm. Feeling philosophical. Or maybe that’s hunger?

Where in a human body is the soul located?
Now, you can choose to click that and get all these smarty-pants answers. Or you can listen to me. Right now. Here it is:

The soul is the appendix. You know, that dangling thing that no one knows what it does? That’s your soul, baby. And you know how some people have to get their appendixes removed? Those are bad, bad people. Soulless.

Why are clouds white?

This is an easy one, perfect for a Monday while I’m still rubbing my eyes open:

Why are clouds white?

I can’t believe this wasn’t nailed right away in the WikiAnswer (although, admittedly, the answer posted there does make a lot of sense).

Clouds are white because they are God’s cotton ball supply. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a non-white cotton ball. He plucks a handful of cloud and rolls it up and then proceeds to do whatever it is you do with cotton balls (what do you do with cotton balls?).

They also serve nicely as the ends of q-tips and ammunition in heavenly snowball fights.

Think outside the box!

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If a dog sweats through his tongue what are his armpits for?

Who cares what the meaning of life is when we still have to solve this mystery:

If a dog sweats through his tongue what are his armpits for?

Thanks for bringing that up, because although I’ve never actually asked myself that, well, now I’m extremely curious. Some views from the wiki-world currently include:

* They don’t have armpits. They sweat through their feet, not tongue. (thanks for ruining all the fun, man)

* Those aren’t pits; they’re called flanks. (yeah, you too)

* What’s wrong with having an extra armpit anyway?

Now that’s exactly what I was thinking.