Hello, Rob, how are you?
Thanks for asking! I’m doing just fine, especially since I stopped taking those diet pills. I mean, who even takes diet pills that were produced by storing tubes of herbs and protein deposits in the soil of Afghanistan poppy fields for 3 years at a time?
Well, I guess I do – did – and let me tell you (in case you don’t get it) you really ought not start.
Now that I think about it, I guess the poor quality could be why my skin was turning a big green and my hands were always shaky.
Who even knows if those really were protein deposits… Now that I think about it, they actually kind of looked like globs of chicken fat.
And the funniest thing is, I didn’t even lose any weight. I gained about 13.5 pounds. Now that I think about it.
So now I’ve got to find a new regimen to lose these extra 13.5 pounds. What do you think of the latest model of the Electronic Handheld Gyro Infrared Heat Fat Burning Massager? It hails all the way from China… Exotic!